Being with another woman after just existing in Mom's world would be akin to living in an efficiency apartment after having lived in a Hollywood mansion. I know, it's a bad analogy, but it's as close as I can get.Beyond the fact that she is extremely beautiful, what I feel for her is much deeper. It goes beyond the sexual desire, goes beyond wanting to possess her, to own her body. What I want and need is to possess her soul, I think that she still loves me as a mother to her son, but my dream is that I need her to love me like a woman loves her man.I'm in love with her and I need for her to love me too, because mother is the reason there is no longer a woman who satisfies me. When having sex, I settled for fucking like animals do, instinctively but without love. Today that is no longer enough.Young girls my age didn't interest me as I found them superficial and immature, so when I need company I contact an escort service and ask for women of my mother's age.I wasn't a virgin by any. I think I was trying to talk myself into another go with you."A final variation on the hypnotic orgasm theme was to try to keep Shirley close, but not quite achieving orgasm while I licked her mercilessly. This experiment lasted about ten or fifteen minutes until Shirley pulled on my hair and asked me to stop."What's wrong?" Do you remember what you told me about that hand job I gave you at the movies?" Um... yeah. What about it?" Do you remember how frustrated you got, and made me promise not to do something that again to you or at least to go easier next time?"I nodded. "Uh, huh." This is maddening to me, Jim. I know you've given me the command, but I never get to this stage so quickly... it's no longer fun, as I'm feeling so frustrated now..." 'Cuddle bunny, cuddle, '" I said, interrupting Shirley, giving her the "go ahead" phrase from earlier. (Shirley only knew the first two words of that phrase, which allowed us to discuss it.) Immediately after giving her the cue, I pulled her.
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